Post by troyhather on Apr 13, 2018 15:27:08 GMT -8
Clearly, I needed to look at this issue a little more scientifically. So I discovered that, according to the Mayo Clinic, men at this age experience a slow and continuous decrease in testosterone production.
This is a completely normal phenomenon – yet for some men, the decrease is particularly steep. An NBC News report recently quoted urologist Dr. Ridwan Shabsigh, head of the International Society of Men’s Health, as saying that low testosterone can have “neural/psycho effects,” and one of those is “low mood and irritability.”
In other words, it is a contributing factor in something called Irritable Male Syndrome, a genuine medical condition, for which the poster boy is Donald Trump.
Irritable Male Syndrome is virtually identical to Grumpy Old Man syndrome. So maybe I shouldn’t simply dismiss the “you-kids-get-off-my-lawn” guy as someone who simply needs to get a better attitude. What I needed to do was find a knowledgeable person who could explain more fully why men my age get so irritable, and more importantly, what we can do to prevent it.
Fortunately, I knew exactly the man to turn to: Spokane author Michael Gurian. He has spent a lifetime studying and writing about our journeys through life – often with an emphasis on male psychology. His most recent book, “The Wonder of Aging: A New Approach to Embracing Life After Fifty” (Atria Books/Simon and Schuster, $26), addresses how men and women age differently – and why men sometimes turn sour.
First of all, Gurian confirmed that low testosterone can, in fact, be one of the culprits. Starting at about the mid-40s or 50s, every man’s testosterone levels begin to decrease, and sometimes the decrease is precipitous around age 60.
“The whole system is robbed of a chemical that it based its life on for the first 50 years,” said Gurian. “It can create irritability. And a lot of us get kind of depressed. Females can get immensely irritated, too. But when they are depressed, they evidence it in crying and talking. Males tend to use anger more.”
Or to put it another way: Women fret, men yell.
So, are those ubiquitous testosterone supplements the solution? Nope. It’s not that easy. First, as the Mayo Clinic notes, “whether treatment is necessary is a matter of debate.” Second, there are many, many other reasons why men get grumpy.
Some are physical. Men who are overweight and don’t exercise tend to be more irritable as they age, probably because they have more to be irritated about. They lose even more of their athletic identity.
“That’s a really big stressor for guys,” said Gurian. “It’s a rite of passage, where the body changes and you can’t do what you want to do.”
This is not just about sports. Some guys lose something they feel is even more vital – which is why Viagra is such a big seller. Men use it to “put off that identity shift,” as Gurian puts it, into their older selves.
However, the deeper causes of Grumpy Old Man syndrome lie in the emotional and psychological realms. Men go through divorces. They have grown children in rehab. They retire and lose their workplace identity.
“With anything that’s really tough, guys will tend to ‘fight or flight,’ ” said Gurian, who is also a marriage and family counselor. “Some of the fight stuff is anger. Some of the flight stuff is withdrawal.”
That’s partly why men experience more quick bursts of anger in their 50s and 60s. There’s “nothing inherently wrong with male anger,” Gurian said. However, if your “quick bursts” go from once a week to a few times every day? Well, now you’re entering full-blown Guy Who Gets Irritated by Everything territory.
This is a completely normal phenomenon – yet for some men, the decrease is particularly steep. An NBC News report recently quoted urologist Dr. Ridwan Shabsigh, head of the International Society of Men’s Health, as saying that low testosterone can have “neural/psycho effects,” and one of those is “low mood and irritability.”
In other words, it is a contributing factor in something called Irritable Male Syndrome, a genuine medical condition, for which the poster boy is Donald Trump.
Irritable Male Syndrome is virtually identical to Grumpy Old Man syndrome. So maybe I shouldn’t simply dismiss the “you-kids-get-off-my-lawn” guy as someone who simply needs to get a better attitude. What I needed to do was find a knowledgeable person who could explain more fully why men my age get so irritable, and more importantly, what we can do to prevent it.
Fortunately, I knew exactly the man to turn to: Spokane author Michael Gurian. He has spent a lifetime studying and writing about our journeys through life – often with an emphasis on male psychology. His most recent book, “The Wonder of Aging: A New Approach to Embracing Life After Fifty” (Atria Books/Simon and Schuster, $26), addresses how men and women age differently – and why men sometimes turn sour.
First of all, Gurian confirmed that low testosterone can, in fact, be one of the culprits. Starting at about the mid-40s or 50s, every man’s testosterone levels begin to decrease, and sometimes the decrease is precipitous around age 60.
“The whole system is robbed of a chemical that it based its life on for the first 50 years,” said Gurian. “It can create irritability. And a lot of us get kind of depressed. Females can get immensely irritated, too. But when they are depressed, they evidence it in crying and talking. Males tend to use anger more.”
Or to put it another way: Women fret, men yell.
So, are those ubiquitous testosterone supplements the solution? Nope. It’s not that easy. First, as the Mayo Clinic notes, “whether treatment is necessary is a matter of debate.” Second, there are many, many other reasons why men get grumpy.
Some are physical. Men who are overweight and don’t exercise tend to be more irritable as they age, probably because they have more to be irritated about. They lose even more of their athletic identity.
“That’s a really big stressor for guys,” said Gurian. “It’s a rite of passage, where the body changes and you can’t do what you want to do.”
This is not just about sports. Some guys lose something they feel is even more vital – which is why Viagra is such a big seller. Men use it to “put off that identity shift,” as Gurian puts it, into their older selves.
However, the deeper causes of Grumpy Old Man syndrome lie in the emotional and psychological realms. Men go through divorces. They have grown children in rehab. They retire and lose their workplace identity.
“With anything that’s really tough, guys will tend to ‘fight or flight,’ ” said Gurian, who is also a marriage and family counselor. “Some of the fight stuff is anger. Some of the flight stuff is withdrawal.”
That’s partly why men experience more quick bursts of anger in their 50s and 60s. There’s “nothing inherently wrong with male anger,” Gurian said. However, if your “quick bursts” go from once a week to a few times every day? Well, now you’re entering full-blown Guy Who Gets Irritated by Everything territory.